


I Shouldn't Want You But I Do

by emmaqueenofthegales (orphan_account)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, BAMF Lily Evans Potter, Bottom Severus Snape, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, Lucius Malfoy Being an Asshole, M/M, Remus/Severus (mentioned), Romantic Fluff, Severus Snape Has a Heart, Severus Snape Needs a Hug, Top Lucius Malfoy, Werewolf Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2019-12-25 14:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18263198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/emmaqueenofthegales
Summary: Severus Snape was never was a fan of romance or love, but once in awhile it sneaks up behind him and tackles him to the floor like a pro wrestling champion. Lucius Malfoy is an aristocratic pureblood who falls head first for the wrong sort of person. And Remus...well Remus was Remus, and Severus wouldn't be heart broken for him anymore. Not after what he did. While Severus and Lucius try to sort out their feelings for one another in a discriminating world against Slytherins and battle through teenage drama, there is a new sort of trouble brewing in Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.





	1. Chapter 1

It's comforting to know that when the world goes to shit and you are left screaming into a godless void, cake frosting will never let you down. Besides giving you the occasional stomach cramp from eating three and a half containers of "Happy Jon's Birthday Cake Icing" it's generally a great way to deal with the unresolved trauma from your past. Unfortunately, there are some repercussions of your dorm mates finding you in the kitchens at two in the morning with a spoon in one hand, and chocolate smeared over your face. 

"I'm dropping out of school." 

"The hell you are, don't leave me with these useless fucks, Sev." Lucius crossed his arms and looked at the sorry sight of the Slytherin. 

Severus arched his back, listening with satisfaction as tiny pops rippled down his spine. "I really am this time. I'm seeng the Headmaster in the morning and transfering to Canada where I will continue my studies there. Frosting, Lucius?" Severus held out the grossly brightly coloured container with a cartoon clown printed on the front and gave it a tempting shake. 

"Er, no thanks," the blode shook his head and situated himself beside Severus, wincing at the coldness of the stone floor. "What do you plan on telling Lily?" he reached out as if to wipe the sticky sugar from Sev's face, but dropping his hand as if thinking better of it; opting to hand him a handkercheif from his pocket instead. "Perhaps a case of Ataxia? Or Sanguinare Vampiris?" 

"First off," Severus smacked the spoon on his friends thigh grinning at the yelp of indignation Lucius gave. "Those aren't even a real disease and you know it. And two, i'm not telling her." 

"Real solid mate," Lucius rubbed his eyes tiredly, his long hair coming loose from his messy bun, framing his pale face with pretty strands of silver. "She won't ever forgive you for that you know. Plus, you're all talk, Sevy. I bet you won't even do it." The corners of his mouth twitched as if he was trying to hold back a smirk. 

"I'm choosing to ignore that you are baiting me. And I will do it," he absentmindedly dipped his fingers in a blob of icing that fell on the ground and licked it off. Lucius' face screwed up in disgust. "You just watch me Lucius Malfoy. This time tomorrow I'll be in Canada, eating poutine with bacon and enjoying maple syrup flavoured candy. I may even send you some if i'm in a good mood." 

"Annnnd..." he clicked his tongue. "Do you plan on telling Mr. Lupin about this little transfer?" 

Severus froze. Lucius knew his words hit their directed mark when Sev groaned and smacked his head against the wall with a concerning thwack. He felt a tiny bit bad for bringing that up, but decided he'd rather his friend be angry with him for a short while than loose him completely across the sea. After what seemed to be an actual growl, he gritted his teeth and spat "No," he seethed. "Merlin's bloody balls, no. I do NOT plan on telling him, you bastard." He glared at the pureblood with as much strength as he could muster. 

Severus' eyes were tired, and almost always had a purple bruising underneath. But on closer expection they were very pretty, like onyx, always sucking people's gaze further into the void; and Lucius wondered if he looked long enough he might catch a glimpse of stars. But before he could confirm his suspiscions Sev would always look away before he could get a good look. 

Lucius gave a half hearted smile and let Severus' insults roll off him. Something anyone would have to learn how to do before they got close to the snappy teen. "I see," was all he said, and he grabbed the icing container from his hand and began to look at the nutritional value chart. Something Sev had to teach him how to read. "Good God, Sevy. How much did you eat?" 

"Too many." 

"You've used up your calorie intake for like...forever." Lucius shook his head. "Before you graduate i'm going to have to roll you everywhere you want to go. Which, honestly, wouldn't be very far. Seeing as you never _go _anywhere. Ever."__

__

__"That's not true," Sev scoffed. "I go places all the time."_ _

__

__Lucius arched a perfect, sculpted eyebrow. "Oh really? Class, the privy, and your dorm room doesn't count."_ _

__

__"They're still 'places' Lu."_ _

__

__"I'm diagnosing you with the 'lack of will to live.' And...dare I say stress eating?" he gestured to the abandoned frosting._ _

__

__"You don't know me!" Sev snapped. "It's perfectly rational to eat sweet things when you've had a less than perfect day."_ _

__

__"Severus your _life _has been less than perfect."___ _

___ _

___"Touche." Severus grumbled irritated._ _ _

___ _

___Lucius grunted as he stood up, offering a hand to Severus. "C'mon. Let's get ourselves to bed. We have to be up early tomorrow before your appointment with the Headmaster."_ _ _

___ _

___"What for? Tomorrow's Saturday." he emphasized_ _ _

___ _

___"You don't get to eat junk like that then not work out after. We have to maintain your cougar like physique. Plus, I think we both need a bit of exsercising."_ _ _

___ _

___"Why?" Sev rolled his eyes. "Eat too many scones with your dinner?"_ _ _

___ _

___"No. Had too much wine in the common room."_ _ _

___ _

___Severus only answered with a snarky grin._ _ _

___ _

___ _

___\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------_ _ _

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___ _

___ _

___The wolf let out a mournful howl as the transformation was completed, still reeling in pain as his nails broke the skin off his finger tips and curled into large black claws. He laid on the ground of the s shack for a little while, panting so hard his tongue rolled out of his mouth. He was vaugely aware of a large stag snuffling outside of the shack, and the impatient barking that joined him soon after. Letting out a low whine, the wolf shakily stood, shaking out his mane of fur and glancing around his surroundings. He wasn't sure who he was before the agony started, but for now that didn't worry him. All he knew he needed right now was to _hunt. _He crawled outside on all fours, letting out a surprised little yip as the black dock playfully bit at his tail. The three of them barreled to the woods, followed by a skittish rat bounding after them squeaking nervously. They rolled in the grass, kicking up dirt in their wake, playing untill the small ours of the morning. His thoughts full of a familiar face always pinched in annoyance and a mop of raven hair.___ _ _

___ _

___ _

_______________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _

___ _

___ _

___ _

___Severus' lungs were burning. His breath came in gasps and his feet punded on the murky paths of the forbidden woods. Merlin! He was sweating in places he didn't even _know _he could sweat. And of course, Lucius was looking as annoyingly perfect as ever. Not a bead of sweat was on his forehead, and his face was not near as flushed as-___ _ _

___ _

___His foot snagged on an upturned root and he was sent sprawling face fist into the dirt. He landed with a painflu thump and remained on the ground in a crumled heap, heaving for breath and even though it was pridefully damaging to have fallen, he was glad for the short rest that Lucius would not grant him._ _ _

___ _

___Lucius jogged over to him and offered a hand. "Staring at me doesn't help your coordination problems Sev. I mean, I know why you would want to look at me and all."_ _ _

___ _

___"I'm surprised you don't carry a mirror everywhere you go, seeing as you like to look at yourself so much."_ _ _

___ _

___Amusement simmered in his grey eyes. "That could be the very best idea you've had all year."_ _ _

___ _

___"Prick," he snapped, getting up and wiping dirt and moldy leaves off his grey t-shirt and black joggers._ _ _

___ _

___"Jerk," Lucius retorted. "Come on, almost back to the school grounds. Sun's nearly up too, don't want Filch to catch us off grounds."_ _ _

___ _

___"Can't," Sev wheezed, leaning against a withered old tree. "Nearly dead."_ _ _

___ _

___"We'll briskly walk then"_ _ _

___ _

___"Oh alright!"_ _ _

___ _

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_____________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _

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___ _

___Severus was extremely greatful of the showers that morning. Since he was up before most of the students, he was able to take the time to thoroughly scrub at his face and wash his hair. He was always self conscious about the scars on his back and wrists so he was very picky about undressing infront of his fellow Slytherins. He stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around him, steem fogging up the windows in his room._ _ _

___ _

___He got dressed quickly, putting on his least ratty shoes and was out the door in a matter of fifteen minutes. Severus knew he had the grades to be able to seek any transfer he wanted, yet something held him back. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to leave Hogwarts after all. A small nagging voice told him he would probably be happier if he left, but he couldn't help thinking of his friends...Lily would be crushed, Lucius would pretend not to care but be heartbroken, and Remus...._ _ _

___ _

___Remus wouldn't care. Tears stung his eyes as we walked to the Headmasters office, and he willed them away. Remus wouldn't mind if Severus left because...because...he never...never truly..._ _ _

___ _

___He shook his head. No. There would be none of that right now. What mattered was Severus' future. He wouldn't have a good one if he stayed here, he just _knew _it. Just because they were having sex for awhile there doesn't mean anything. So, he took in a deep breath and knocked on the Headmasters door.___ _ _

"Ah, Severus! There you are I was wondering if you would actually show up." Dumbledor smiled as he ushered the boy inside. 

"Well, I'm here aren't I?" 

"Yes, yes, now do have a seat, my boy. I see you're looking to transfer into Penderghast, correct? Remind me, that's the small wizarding school in Canada, correct? Near British Columbia?" 

Severus nodded. "Yes sir, it is." 

"Now, have you considered Ilvermorney? That's a much larger school with a tad bit more credibility..." 

"Er, yes Headmaster. But I'm wanting something more...seclusive." Severus fished for the right word to say. 

Dumbledore handed him the papers and watched closely as Severus leafed through them. "I've spoken with the Headmaster there....Lavita Ebonywood, I believe is her name. You understand that the fall term is not yet over," 

Severus looked up. "Yes sir, I understand." 

"So, you realize you wouldn't actually make the switch until after the Christmas break?" 

Severus nodded and reached for the quill to sign his name, but Headmaster Dumbledore stopped him. "Are you sure about this Mr. Snape? I understand things were...tense...this year but you shouldn't let that stand in the way." 

Severus bristled and his skin became hot. He almost lost it, but remembered to reel himself in before things got...messy. He had to show Dumbledore he would not be pushed over. Especially after the incident. "I'm positive." he said icily. 

"Well, I hate to see a student go...just...wait until Yule, Severus. Give yourself some time before making irrational decisions. Promise me." 

He hesitated. It...wasn't a bad idea, he had to admit. It would give him some time to talk it over with Lily and maybe Narcissa a bit more. After a few moments of deliberation, he gave a quick nod and shoved the papers in his satchel. Lucius was waiting for him outside with a genuinely curious expression on his face. 

"Well?" he prompted gently. 

"Dumbledore asked me to think about it for a bit longer. But I have the papers...so I can sign them whenever I want." 

Lucius mask never once slipped, but he would never admit to Severus that his hands were trembling in his pockets. "Why don't we go out today, Sevy? I hear Hagrid had a liter of Niflers that were just born a few weeks back." 

______________________________________________________________________________________________ 

Remus sighed as he rested his chin on his hands, staring out the window as the sun peaked over the horizon, washing everything in a brilliant gold. The transformation last night had left him very weak, so he was happy it was Saturday. He shivered against an oncoming chill and drew the quilted blanket over his shoulders. He watched as Severus bounded across the courtyard with Malfoy in tow, sending dozens of grazing birds flocking in every direction. 

"Morning, Mooney." James yawned, sitting nest to Remus on the window bench. His hair was sticking out everywhere, and somehow through the night he had lost one of his socks. 

"Good morning, James." He said quietly, as to not disturb the sleeping Peter and Sirius. 

After a few moments of comfortable silence, James tentatively asked. "...You and Sirius still not talking?" 

"No," Remus said, decidedly cool. "And we won't be for quite some time." 

"I know you're upset..." 

"That word doesn't even begin to cover it, James. I almost killed someone a few months ago. And all because You and Sirius have this childish hate against a boy who did nothing to earn it. And in doing so, nearly outed my secret to the entire school. At the very least my wand would have gotten snapped James, I could have been killed." 

"Dumbledore wouldn't have let that happen." He argued, and Remus almost rolled his eyes. James wasn't entirely evil, he knew that. Just sometimes he takes things waaaay to far. Sirius had a hand in it to, he didn't know when to stop and can be cruel at times. Unknowingly encouraging James to do something he would never do. Like lead Severus to a fully transformed Werewolf, for instance. If James hadn't have realized his dumbass actions...Remus didn't know what he would do. He lost someone he loved because of the two of them, and now Severus want's nothing to do with him.

"Anyways, it was just Snivellous." 

Remus had to turn away so James wouldn't see the fury that was written all over his face. He bit his tongue and said nothing. He wanted to talk to Sev about what happened, but Lucius wouldn't let him anywhere near him. A spark of jealousy flared in his chest, but he quickly swallowed it. He would have to catch Sev when he was alone.


	2. Les I'm Miserable...and the Tea Does Not Help

Monday crept up sooner than would have liked. He stared blearily into his cup of jasmine tea, half picking and half eating a scone while Narcissa read over his Divination assignment, while Lucius and Mulciber talked in hushed tones to one another, hands gesturing wildly as they spoke. He hardly realized Narcissa had handed him his parchment back until she spoke. 

"It's good Severus, you seem to have a gift for divination. I myself couldn't be bothered with it, pretty useless at reading palms." 

Severus arched a brow. "I can't tell if you're teasing me or not, but thanks anyways." He murmured sleepily, and continued to stare in his tea mug. Letting the steam fog up in his face and relishing in the warmth it brought. Most students at Hogwarts never took divination seriously, and he couldn't help but wonder why. For those who mastered it, it could be an extremely useful skill. Not to mention it would be kind of cool to catch glimpses of what fortunes the future might hold for each of them. 

"And I'm _telling _you, that type of magic hasn't been around in the curriculum for ages." Mulciber's voice rose as he tried to emphasize his point.__

__

__Lucius rolled his eyes, and poured more cream into his coffee. "Wild magick, in its nature is very volatile and unpredictable. But, if harnessed _correctly _is a very powerful form of spell work that can take years for the masters to get up to the level with normal magic spells. So, I still argue that it's the best type."___ _

___ _

___"I still think you're wrong." He crumbled. "Dark magic has power as well."_ _ _

___ _

___"Dark magic is powerful, I admit, but not as effective as wild magick. Having the ability to draw in the _magick _force around us then unleashing it trough our core has a blast radius of-"___ _ _

___ _

___"We're not talking about blast radius! Merlin's bloody balls, we're talking about which is most powerful. Which means it must be tested in effectiveness, swiftness, potency, and so on."_ _ _

___ _

___"But there's a difference between magic and _magick. _" Severus snorted. "Not only in the spelling either. So if it is a fair comparison you want, start of by talking about the same nature of _magicka _. Or you could very well be trying to decide if you prefer lettuce and bacon. While it is still in the realm of edible things, they are two very different types of food."_____ _ _

___ _

___"Severus has a point," Narcissa pointedly said. "And can you take your nerdy spat elsewhere, so it doesn't interrupt my quiet mornings that I am accustomed to?"_ _ _

___ _

___"Cissa, if you're with us, you'll never have a quiet morning ever again." Sev grumbled "I've learned that lesson in first year."_ _ _

___ _

___"I take offence to that," Lucius flicked his hair over his shoulder. "But Narcissa is right, we will have to continue our talk another time when these two aren't so sour. Plus, it's almost time for the first class anyway."_ _ _

___ _

___"Oh very well," Mulciber sighed. He then jabbed a finger at Lucius and slung his bag over his shoulder. "But this little chat is far from over, Malfoy."_ _ _

___ _

___"Agreed." Lucius' mouth turned up at the corners as if he was trying to supress a smirk. "Let's go Sev." He turned to his friend who was still seated at the table. "Severus?" he asked again, a little worried about his lack of response. Severus was still staring mutely into his finished tea cup, his face pale and ashy, forehead broken out into sweat. Lucius laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and shook him slightly, leaning in to whisper into his ear. "What's wrong, honey?"_ _ _

___ _

___If Severus wasn't so spooked he would have laughed at Lucius calling him that. Instead, he looked in mute horror at what he saw in his leaves at the bottom of his cup._ _ _

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___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _

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___ _

___He kept the tea cup through all his classes until lunch. Peeking in it once or twice to see if somehow the leaves at changed, but nope. He and Lucius ate outside, letting the chilly autumn wind cool them, and kicking up colourful leaves as they walked through the courtyard. Lucius was really worried at this point, practically begging Sev to tell him what was wrong, even going so far as trying to grab the mug from his hands._ _ _

___ _

___"Severus Farrah Snape, let me see." He demanded once again. "What's so important you can't tell me?"_ _ _

___ _

___Severus spun around, and with a snarl he hissed. "Malfoy don't ever call me by my full name. Not ever." He took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders to help with the tension building up. He cast Lucius what could almost be an apologetic look and sighed. "Like I said, I want professor Crowe to look at it before any of us get so worked up about it."_ _ _

___ _

___"Professor _Crowe? _"___ _ _

___ _

___"If I didn't know better I'd say you're whining."_ _ _

___ _

___"Look, I apologize if I am grating your already shot nerves, but at least give me something I can chew on so I'm not worrying the rest of the day." He then added. "And I'm sorry about your name, I really am. I think it fits you wonderfully."_ _ _

___ _

___"It's not that I don't like it," Severus said slowly, mulling over his words. "I just...I get teased already so much about how I look and how I am poor and stuff...I don't really need another reason the Marauders can throw at me, you know?"_ _ _

___ _

___"You think them knowing of your Egyptian heritage will cause you more insults." Lucius said quietly, glancing around him as he spoke._ _ _

___ _

___Severus shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "I mean, it's happened before. I went to a muggle school before this one and they used to call me 'desert rat' and other things like that." He looked down almost as if he was ashamed. "In fact...you and Cissa are one of the only ones that really know." The tea cup shook in his hands as he looked at it again._ _ _

___ _

___"I want you to know you don't have to be embarrassed about it with me, or anyone for that matter. Be _proud _of who you are, Severus. That confidence will shine through you in whatever you do. Trust me." Lucius put a hand on his leg and gave it a soothing pat. "And if you ever need to talk..." he added.___ _ _

___ _

___"You'll be the first to know. Well, maybe Lily and then you."_ _ _

___ _

___"Jerk," Lucius scowled good naturedly._ _ _

___ _

___"Bitch." Severus grinned._ _ _

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___It was near the end of the day, and Severus couldn't help but stare at the wall. Normally, he would pay attention in his Potions class, but the lecture Slughorn was going over bored him to death, and he frankly already studdied this particular potion before. What didn't help was the wadded up paper bits that somehow made its way across the room and into his hair. He bit back the urge to turn around and glare at the four boys responsable, or...three he shoud say, but that would mean turning and seeing Remus. And Severus knew if he took one look at that sorry face, he would start crying. He had been sucessfully avoiding him for a couple months now, but he knew sooner or later he would have to talk to him at some point in life. Just...not today. Maybe even not this year._ _ _

___ _

___"Okay class, pair up in parners, and I want you to start brewing the Antidote to Common Poisons. Oh and Severus? Since Lilly is away this week visiting family, can someone volunteer to be his partner?" He scanned the room. "Ah, Remus! So kind of you, why don't you join Severus at his cauldron."_ _ _

___ _

___What. Oh fucking hell, just his luck! Panic bubbled up in his chest, and he soon sensed Remus' familiar presence stand beside him. He did not turn to look at him, instead opting to stare furiously at his shoes._ _ _

___ _

___"Hi." Remus said a little awkwardly. Severus decided if he was waiting for a response, he wasn't getting one. He knew he was being childish at this point, but he didn't care. "...Do you want me to get the ingredients or..?"_ _ _

___ _

___Severus just shrugged, close to tears. If he wasn't careful he would have a full blown anxiety attack in the middle of class and that would not do. The hour ticked painfully slow, with Remus trying to ease him into a conversation, that Severus was steadily ignoring._ _ _

___ _

___They added the unicorn horn, and stirred it a few times to the right, until it was a golden shimmering colour. Next came the Bezoar, which turned the colour into an alarming deep red, before settling back into a dull orangy pink. Remus let Severus take the lead, seeing as he was better at potions than he was. Pushing up his sleeves a bit, Severus then added the Mistletoe Berries, and with a snapping sound the potion was complete._ _ _

___ _

___"So, Lily is on vacation with her parents and sister still? A bit of an odd time to leave in my opinion but..." he faltered peering at Severus' flushed face with a little but of worry. "Sev, are you okay? You seem out of it today. Did something happen?" He placed a warm, and very comforting hand on his forearm, but to Severus it felt icy cold, and about to transform into large crooked hairy fingers and sharp talons and rip into his soft tan flesh...._ _ _

___ _

___He snapped his arm back with a muffled cry, sending the teacup he had so carefully perched on the desk out of harms way to the floor with a sickening crash. He jumped back in alarm, and felt the world go fuzzy around him and his breaths become shallow. He could hardly suck in enough air to satisfy his lungs. He had to get out of there, immediately. He backed away from Remus, ignoring the snickering he heard across the room and all but ran out of the classroom._ _ _

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___This was worse than Remus thought. He stared in disbelief as Severus ran into the hallway, choking and gasping on air. He started going after him, but his foot crunched on something and he looked down. He had been wondering why Severus had been carrying an empty cup around all day. He knelt and started to pick up the pieces of China, inspecting each fragment, turning it over in his hand as professor Slughorn tried to get the class back to order._ _ _

___"Nice job, Moony! What did you do to him anyways?" Sirius hissed from behind, eyes glinting with humour_ _ _

___ _

___"Nothing!" Remus murmured back, annoyed that Black was even talking to him in the first place._ _ _

___ _

___"I've never seen him so scared in all my life." James was still looking at the door where Snape had made his grand escape. And was that...concern...Remus saw in his gaze?_ _ _

___ _

___"Do you think someone should go after him?" Peter asked, fidgeting with his quill a little, almost scared at the prospect of talking to the Slytherin._ _ _

___ _

___"No!" Slughorn called from the front. "Absolutely not. I don't want anyone else to leave this room!" He snapped, obviously flustered from the lack of control his class had._ _ _

___ _

___Remus put the sharp glass on the table, and was about to scoop up the now dry tea leaves, yet his hand froze before he could. He hadn't taken Divination since Year Three, but there was something unsettling about how the leaves fell. He peered closer, trying to make out the shapes, but a passing student walked past, casuing the leaves to scatter further across the room. Whatever the leaves had been trying to say was now illegible, much to Remus' annoyance._ _ _

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___\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------_ _ _

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___The smell of incense was heavy in the air, creating thick fumes that assaulted Severus' eyes the moment he had stepped into Professor Crowe's office. Wind chimes clinked softly from the breeze of the open window, and swirling shadows casted by the dyed candles danced along the far wall._ _ _

___ _

___"Severus?" Professor Crowe looked up, surprised by the unexpected visit, and alarmed by the expression his student was wearing. "Oh dear...um...come sit down, son. I'll fetch some tea-"_ _ _

___ _

___"Bloody hell, no! No more tea!" Severus snapped, immediately sinking into one of the soft couches the professor had in his office._ _ _

___ _

___Crowe's expression never fell as he said. "Alright, something stronger maybe. Ever had brandy, Severus?"_ _ _

___ _

___A glass or so later, and after a long time spent curled up with his head resting on his knees did Sev finally speak. "This morning...I....saw something in my cup of jasmine oolong."_ _ _

___ _

___"A strand of cat hair?' Crowe said, pushing his brown hair behind his tipped ears. Violet eyes shining with humour and underlining concern._ _ _

___ _

___Severus let out a bitter laugh. "I wish...but no. It was...much more harmful than cat hair. It was some symbols."_ _ _

___ _

___Crowe leaned forward. "I know your divination senses are very adept. Better than mine, most would say. It is of no doubt you carry a very strong connection to these otherwordly powers, Mr. Snape. Your mother...she had the gift as well, as did your grandmother. It runs deep in your family blood."_ _ _

___ _

___"I know," Severus said quietly. "It's my curse to know things, Professor."_ _ _

___ _

___"Well...can you tell me what you saw in your cup?"_ _ _

___ _

___He closed his eyes, face grey as he recalled the contents. "I...I saw nothing but pain and suffering." He whispered._ _ _

___ _

___A bat. He pictured it as clear as day, on the left side of the cup. It was alone, and foretold sickness in his house. A little ways on the otherside of the cup, was another one, this time surrounded by a flock of birds...not just any birds but...Ravens . It told of a death, and grave news in the foreseeable future. And in the bottom of the cup, was a cross, not one, not two, but _three _, telling of pain and suffering of either him or his friends.___ _ _

___ _

___Professor Crowe was quiet for a moment, regarding him with soft eyes. He let out an audible sigh as he sat up, rubbing his face tiredly._ _ _

___ _

___"Quite a prophecy..." he whispered. "Was there...anything else? Anything at all?"_ _ _

___ _

___"They were not all prominent. Most were...scattered looking and unclear. Except for one. The one foretelling death."_ _ _

___ _

___ _


	3. Now Would be a Good Time To Call the Police

Lily was back from her vacation, and as it turned out it had little to do with comfort and relaxation. 

“My Aunt was pretty sick,” she told Severus as they walked through the corridors, passing the moving portraits who looked down on them with concern. “She’s in a pretty bad way,” her brilliant green eyes glittered with unshed tears, and Severus wish he knew how to comfort her. “She’s always been sick, but...these past few weeks she just got worse and worse and the doctors don’t know how to help.” She roughly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffed. 

“Lily I’m so sorry.” Severus murmured, placing a tentative comforting arm around her shoulders, not really knowing what else he could do. In the back of his mind, he wondered if the death the jasmine leaves foretold was of Lily’s Aunt. But...it wouldn't make much sense, normally tea leaves tell the fortunes of the person drinking from the cup. And anyways, it wouldn't be much of a surprise if she passed away. Severus remembered he met Eulette just once when he was eight. She had been sitting in the garden, talking to Mrs. Evans as she helped pull weeds. She was awfully thin, and though her eyes were cheerful, Severus could tell she was trying to put on a brave face for her family. 

“I know,” Lily gave him an affectionate squeeze. Her eyes grew a little misty again, and despite the thought being selfish, Severus hoped she didn't start crying. He was often little help when it comes to people crying, it made him slightly uncomfortable and overwhelmed when he didn’t know what to do to console the person. 

“So...Halloween’s just around the corner,” Severus said, trying to distract Lily from her sick relative. “Any big plans? I know there's going to be a masquerade.” 

“Sevy are you asking me to the dance?” she teased warmly. 

A steady blush crept up his neck, not realizing she was joking and his face burned as he sputtered. “Eh...maybe….maybe _not_ it’s just I’m not really fond of girls and-” 

“Relax,” she grinned and patted his arm. “I’m just teasing you. Are you and Remus going together?” Apparently he wasn't the only one trying to change subjects. 

Severus nearly paused. Lily didn’t know about the attack in the Shrieking Shack, and she never would. Dumbledore had made that part certain. And Severus had only told her about him and Remus just a few weeks before it all happened, unsure if he was planning on sticking around; so it would make sense she knew little about the break off between them. 

“Sev?” She searched his face for a moment or two. “You guys are still...sort of a thing aren’t you?” 

Silence. 

“Oh Merlin! I’m sorry, I never should have asked.” Lily cried. “When...when did it happen? Are you okay?” 

Severus hushed her, rolling his eyes. “Relax, I’m alright. I’m not some heartbroken twelve year old girl, don’t worry. It was fine while it lasted...just in the end he chose his friends over me. I wasn’t asking him to choose, I would never do that. But...oh fucking hell with it all, I don’t know. It ended, I’m fine.” 

“Fine is good,” she said carefully. “Fine is great.” she ran her hands through her thick red hair and sighed. 

They both knew fine was a lie. 

“If you ever want to talk…” she said hopefully, obviously wanting to continue the conversation. 

“No, I don’t want to talk.” 

“Just going to bury it down in your heart like you do for everything else?” Lily gave him a pointed look. 

He glared at her. “Lily, it’s been a rough few weeks for me _and_ for you. I don’t want to get into this, and I’m sure you have better things to do.” 

“When your ready, I’m here.” They arrived to Gryffindor's common room and stopped, just outside the portrait of the Fat Lady. “This is me.” She put her hands in her pocket and smiled. “Thanks for walking me to the tower, Sev.” 

He shrugged and stared at the polished wooden floors, courtesy of the house elves, most likely. “Any time.” 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

“You know I never figured you the type, Severus.” Lucius snatched a book from his hands and read the cover. “Tender Wings of Desire,” he flipped to a random page ignoring Severus’ huff, batting his arms away as he tried to grab the book back from him. 

“Excuse me! That is mine and I would appreciate if-” 

_” ‘Marie, I don’t know if we could ever be together,’ Jonathan’s voice was quiet as he murmured in the pale moonlight, his breath puffing up clouds of white frost in the cold winter. ‘But Jonathan I love you!’ Marie sobbed as she clung desperately to his sleeve, her bright blue eyes rimmed red with tears. ‘You’re a million miles away from me, my dearest. My family will never accept us! They won’t understand my feelings for a lower class maiden like you-’_ My word this is worse than I thought, Sev.” Although his tone was teasing, there was something in his eyes Severus couldn’t quite place. 

“Just give me my damn book back and leave me in peace.” He grumbled, more to himself than to Lucius. He pinched the bridge of his nose feeling a headache coming on. 

“What’s got your knickers in a twist?” Lucius sat down beside Sev on the green sofa and propped up his feet on the lacquered coffee table. 

“Nothing.” he snapped, then sighed and gripped his hair so tight his knuckles turned white. “It’s just…” he trailed off not knowing how to start. “I’m dealing with so many things right now I feel as if I am drowning and I don’t know what to do.” 

Lucius pulled him in for a tentative hug, which Severus shrugged off. “How can I help?” his grey eyes blazed with determination. 

Severus glanced at him, and despite the grim smile he wore, Lucius saw the haunted look in his eyes. “Here,” he handed him _Tender Winds of Desire_ “Read the rest of the chapter for me?” 

The snort Lucius gave was less than proper but he opened the book and began reading again. 

The next morning a faint drizzle plagued the grounds and Severus woke with an ache in his bones. Beside him, Lucius had his mouth open in a snore, a piece of platinum hair between his lips. He felt a sort of satisfaction that this Greek sculpted masterpiece looked like every other human in the morning. They had fallen asleep in the Slytherin common room, and Merlin knows what rumours were circulating the halls by now. 

“Good morning Severus,” a familiar voice said from across the room. He propped himself up on an elbow and gazed at Narcissa with a sort of horror. 

“Did we miss breakfast?” 

There was a haunted look in her eyes and she briskly nodded. “Classes were cancelled today.” She stared down at her shaking hands and flexed them nervously. 

“Cissa, what’s wrong?” Lucius yawned and cracked his neck, eyes still heavy with sleep. 

“Laramie Douglas was found dead this morning.” She whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot somewhat thickens annnnnnnd a very short update. Also, I can't write for shit, so.

**Author's Note:**

> EASTER WEEKEND 2019 UPDATE: probs won’t be able to post the next chapter for the next two weeks bc super busy with family and other things :/ BUT I will not give up on this story....currently Monday April 15/19 will try to update on May 1/19 maybe sooner....sorry


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